A “Call” from the White House
Colonel Dan, SASS
Colonel Dan: Hello.
This is Karl Rove at the White House. Is this
CD: Yes sir, I’m
KR: Please hold for
CD: Yes Sir.
Hello Colonel, this is George Bush.
Got a minute?
CD: Yes sir, I reckon
Great. We’ve got an election coming up and I’d like your take on
CD: I’m glad you
called Mr. President. I have given this some considerable thought, yes.
Haven’t you been reading the Cowboy Chronicle?
Didn’t have time, sorry. Fire
Well Mr. President, I believe politicians of both parties deserve the
deep dark doo doo they’re in with American voters and it’s a bit late to do
much about it now but let me start with the positive.
I believe shooters really appreciate that the blatant federal attack on
guns has slowed under your administration.
GWB: That’s good to
hear. I like guns but between you
and me…I don’t want to be near Dick Cheney when he’s totin’ a shotgun.
I understand. Why don’t you try cowboy shooting? I bet SASS HQs would give you a complimentary Life
Sounds good. Karl, please give SASS HQ a call. Sorry for the interruption Colonel, please continue.
Yes sir. Those tax
cuts were on target and sure helped spur our economy.
GWB: Ronald Reagan
taught me that.
Super. I like the fact you
appointed Roberts and Alito to the Supreme Court instead of folks like Ginsberg
and Stevens but I’ll reserve judgment until I see if they’re real
traditionalists or just another Souter-like appointment!
GWB: That’s fair.
Now for the dark side. Lack
of border security is THE primary threat to
to grant any form of amnesty and future citizenship to the very people
who thumb their nose at our laws and simply invade the country is
intolerable—are you guys nuts or are y’all purposely selling out the
country?!? Our political leaders
are simply encouraging the destruction of America and you have a track record on
this that’s beyond comprehension—especially after living in Texas for so
long, being governor for 6 years and President for 6.
You can’t tell me you aren’t aware of the adverse impact this has on
our country! In fact, you and
all party elites from both sides have given Americans absolutely no reason to
trust you where our own border security is concerned.
Here’s the simple answer…unless of course these reports are true
about some secret deal y’all made with
GWB: Well, I don’t
know how that’ll go over. You see
there’s the problem of…..
CD: No Excuses; No
Compromises and no appeasement or half way measures just to get votes or cheap
labor. Got it?!
Well, when you put it that way Colonel, I see your point.
Now another thing, this abomination we call the Income Tax must be
replaced with the Fair Tax. Your
government can’t understand the current mess let alone regular Americans who
have to pay it and it punishes hard work and industry.
CD: Next, the
stealing of private property through this twisted interpretation of eminent
domain ceases today and all property taken under that ruling by federal, state
and local governments is returned to its rightful owner—immediately!
Your ranch in Crawford could be taken under this ruling then what would
I don’t think I’d like that.
CD: You’re durn
tootin’ you wouldn’t and Americans don’t like it either so change it.
GWB: I’ll look into
CD: Finally, if
Roberts and Alito are on the same team as Thomas and Scalia, appoint another
like them when you can then immediately put the Second Amendment to rest.
The Second is absolute—we know what the Founders meant.
Have the new court rule so and put the kybosh on gun grabbers—including
the United Nations! Shall
not be infringed…get it?
Yep, I’ll write that down.
CD: The bottom line
is clear Mr. President; Americans are totally fed up with political sellouts in
office. If you and Congress would
just return to the traditional principles of our Founders, protect our borders,
remove the income tax, respect private property and just simply abide by the
Constitution, you’d go down in history next to that other famous
George—George Washington. Remember him?
I sure do.
However…continue ignoring the Constitution, your sacred oath and sworn
GWB: Thanks Colonel.
I knew I could count on cowboys for straight talk.
You can count on the SASS cowboys to tell it straight every time even
though it might sting. Ya know Mr. President, there’s an old saying which
describes the action oriented type people we have in SASS pretty well.
When the leaders fail to lead
the people, the people must lead the leaders.
Something you’d have realized had you subscribed to the Cowboy
Chronicle. Now go forth and do good things for
GWB: WILCO. Thanks again. Goodbye Colonel.
CD: Goodbye Mr. President. <?);-)
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