A "Call" From The White House

by Colonel Dan


The Cowboy Chronicle

October 2006


A “Call” from the White House

Colonel Dan, SASS Life #24025


Colonel Dan: Hello.  

KR:  This is Karl Rove at the White House. Is this Colonel Dan ?  

CD: Yes sir, I’m Colonel Dan .  

KR: Please hold for the President. 

CD: Yes Sir.

GWB:  Hello Colonel, this is George Bush.  Got a minute?

CD: Yes sir, I reckon so.

GWB:  Great. We’ve got an election coming up and I’d like your take on things.

CD: I’m glad you called Mr. President. I have given this some considerable thought, yes.  Haven’t you been reading the Cowboy Chronicle?

GWB:  Didn’t have time, sorry.  Fire away.

CD:  Well Mr. President, I believe politicians of both parties deserve the deep dark doo doo they’re in with American voters and it’s a bit late to do much about it now but let me start with the positive.  I believe shooters really appreciate that the blatant federal attack on guns has slowed under your administration.

GWB: That’s good to hear.  I like guns but between you and me…I don’t want to be near Dick Cheney when he’s totin’ a shotgun.

CD:  I understand.  Why don’t you try cowboy shooting?  I bet SASS HQs would give you a complimentary Life Membership.

GWB:  Sounds good.  Karl, please give SASS HQ a call.  Sorry for the interruption Colonel, please continue.

CD:  Yes sir.   Those tax cuts were on target and sure helped spur our economy. 

GWB: Ronald Reagan taught me that.

CD:  Super.  I like the fact you appointed Roberts and Alito to the Supreme Court instead of folks like Ginsberg and Stevens but I’ll reserve judgment until I see if they’re real traditionalists or just another Souter-like appointment!

GWB: That’s fair.

CD:  Now for the dark side.  Lack of border security is THE primary threat to America right now and the solution is simple once you cut through all the political bull chips.  The situation was bad enough pre 9/11 but post 9/11, this pandering to illegals and unsecured borders that just invites trouble is criminally insane.  History proves a country that cannot or will not control its borders, preserve its culture and retain a common language is not long a country and let me add that leaders who won’t defend their country don’t deserve the privilege of leadership.

Plans to grant any form of amnesty and future citizenship to the very people who thumb their nose at our laws and simply invade the country is intolerable—are you guys nuts or are y’all purposely selling out the country?!?  Our political leaders are simply encouraging the destruction of America and you have a track record on this that’s beyond comprehension—especially after living in Texas for so long, being governor for 6 years and President for 6.  You can’t tell me you aren’t aware of the adverse impact this has on our country!   In fact, you and all party elites from both sides have given Americans absolutely no reason to trust you where our own border security is concerned.  Here’s the simple answer…unless of course these reports are true about some secret deal y’all made with Mexico and Canada to surrender our national sovereignty and turn North America into a European Union like debacle.  You’ve got to seal the borders with armed patrols, cut off all social benefits to non-Americans and build an effective physical barrier—none of this virtual wall stuff—that’s political code for eyewash and Americans know it.  Next, confiscate the money these invaders send home, initiate action to deny automatic citizenship to children of illegals who just happen to be born here and finally, stringently prosecute those that hire illegals. Once the ground work for all that’s been laid, tell the world our doors are closed to any form of surreptitious entry.  If people want to become citizens, they apply officially and agree to adopt our culture and language—no excuses; no compromises. If they want to come just for a job then set up an employment agency abroad that rents workers out to American business and then after the job is done they go home for their final paycheck.  Americans know the solution Mr. President and have said so for years. You’re way behind them on this and you can’t lead from the rear. You’ve GOT to be a strong out-front leader for the United States rather than trying to appease the entire North American continent!  Americans want to hear our elected leaders stand up for them and tell our adversaries to go to blazes for a change!  [Where have you gone Teddy Roosevelt?]  Is this getting through to you at all?

GWB: Well, I don’t know how that’ll go over.  You see there’s the problem of…..

CD: No Excuses; No Compromises and no appeasement or half way measures just to get votes or cheap labor.  Got it?!

GWB:  Well, when you put it that way Colonel, I see your point.

CD: Good.  Now another thing, this abomination we call the Income Tax must be replaced with the Fair Tax.  Your government can’t understand the current mess let alone regular Americans who have to pay it and it punishes hard work and industry. 

GWB: Hmmmm…. 

CD: Next, the stealing of private property through this twisted interpretation of eminent domain ceases today and all property taken under that ruling by federal, state and local governments is returned to its rightful owner—immediately!  Your ranch in Crawford could be taken under this ruling then what would you think?

GWB:  I don’t think I’d like that.

CD: You’re durn tootin’ you wouldn’t and Americans don’t like it either so change it.

GWB: I’ll look into that.  

CD: Finally, if Roberts and Alito are on the same team as Thomas and Scalia, appoint another like them when you can then immediately put the Second Amendment to rest.  The Second is absolute—we know what the Founders meant.  Have the new court rule so and put the kybosh on gun grabbers—including the United Nations!  Shall not be infringed…get it?

GWB:  Yep, I’ll write that down.

CD: The bottom line is clear Mr. President; Americans are totally fed up with political sellouts in office.  If you and Congress would just return to the traditional principles of our Founders, protect our borders, remove the income tax, respect private property and just simply abide by the Constitution, you’d go down in history next to that other famous George—George Washington. Remember him?

GWB:  I sure do. 

CD:  However…continue ignoring the Constitution, your sacred oath and sworn duty to America and all you politicians will pay dearly…as will America .

GWB: Thanks Colonel.  I knew I could count on cowboys for straight talk.

CD:  You can count on the SASS cowboys to tell it straight every time even though it might sting.  Ya know Mr. President, there’s an old saying which describes the action oriented type people we have in SASS pretty well.  When the leaders fail to lead the people, the people must lead the leaders.  Something you’d have realized had you subscribed to the Cowboy Chronicle. Now go forth and do good things for America

GWB: WILCO.  Thanks again.  Goodbye Colonel.

CD: Goodbye Mr. President.  <?);-)

Contact Colonel Dan :  coloneldan@bellsouth.net









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